Hand Nicknames
HAND NICKNAMES
True to poker’s colorful background, there are some rather interesting nicknames given to some hands. We’ve compiled a list of them here:
Open ended four card straight: Big Bobtail
Clubs flush: Golf Bag, Puppy Feet, Pups
Hearts flush: Valentine’s
A4 flush: Arkansas Flush
King high club flush: Rodney
Full house: Boat
Four of a kind: Quads
Three of a kind: Gleek, Trips
Three of a kind with a pair in the hole: Set
Four pair (Omaha): Noah’s Ark
Three pair: Shoe Store
Pair in first two cards: Wired Pair Bookmark Post
Three clubs: LAPD Traffic Stop
Three spades: Toolshed
Three diamonds: The Bank
Any face card: Liner, Paint
3 cards (all different suits): Gay Rainbow
A-A-A Beatles’ Reunion, Roadside, Triple A, Insurance
A-A Pocket Rockets, Bullets, American Airlines, Erect Nipples, Alan Alda, Eyes of Texas, Snake Eyes, Teepees
A-A-J Dead Kennedy (two bullets and a Jack)
A-K Big Slick, Anna Kournikova (looks great but never wins), Mike Haven, Salt Lake Pair, Santa Barbara
A-K-Q-J-10 Broadway
A-K-4-7 Assault Rifle
A-Q Big Chick, Lil’ Slick, Aquaman, Walking Back to Houston, Mrs. Slick, Big Clit, Catch of the Day
A-J Black Jack, Jack-ass, Ajax, Apple Jacks, Foamy Cleanser
A-10 Johnny Moss, Warthog, Corners
A-8 Deadman’s Hand
A-2-3-4-5 Bicycle, Pup, Puppy
K-K-K-K The Four Horsemen
K-Q-J-10-9 Off-Broadway
K-K-K Alabama Night Riders
K-K Cowboys, King Kong, Gorillas, Kangaroos, Krispy Kreme, Elvis Presley, Penn and Teller
K-Q-J Happy Family
K-Q Royalty, Marriage, Divorce, Royal Couple, Lucy & Ricky
K-Q (off-suited) Mixed Marriage, Othello
K-J Kojak, The Bachelor, Harry Potter (written by J.K. Rowling), Tucson Monster, Just Kidding, People who Need People
K-10 Big Al, Katie, Ditzy Pregnant Actress
K-9 Canine, Pedigree, Fido, Bow Wow, Dogs, Saw Mill
K-9 (off-suited) Mongrel, Mutt
K-8 Kokomo, Feast (‘King ate’)
K-7 Columbia River
K-4 Fork
K-4 (off-suited) Fork Off
K-3 King Crab, Sizzler, Commander Crab, Krablar, Seafood, Alaskan Hand
K-2 The Mountain, Big Fritz, Everest, Steep Climb
Q-Q-Q-Q the Village People
Q-Q-Q Six Tits
Q-Q Double Date, Canadian Aces, Siegfried and Roy, the Hilton Sisters, Four Tits, Dykes, Hookers, Jailhouse Rock, Snowshoes, Canadian Rockets, Wal-Mart Shoppers
Q-J Fred & Ethel, Maverick, Oedipus
Q-10 Quint, Varkony, Hot Babe or Hot Stud, Goolsby
Q-9 Quinine
Q-8 Fat Lady
Q-7 Computer Hand
Q-6 Peanut Butter and Jelly
Q-5 Grannie Mae
Q-4 B-Diddy
Q-3 Gay Waiter, San Francisco Busboy (Queen with a ‘trey’), Windsor Waiter, Streetwalker
Q-3 (suited) Posh Gay Waiter
Q-2 Queen Doobie
J-J-J One Jack Off
J-J-5 Jugs
J-J Fish Hooks, Hooks, Jay Birds, Dy-no-mite (J.J. Walker from Good Times), Johnnies, Gents
J-7 Jack Daniels
J-6 Jeff Talley, Railroad Hand
J-5 Jackson Five, Motown, Rock and Roll
J-4 Flat Tire (what you’ll need a jack for)
J-2 J.Lo
J-2 (off-suited) Blind Man’s Hand
10-10-10 Thirty Miles of Bad Road
10-10 John Stamos (for his 10-10-220 commercials), Tension, Dimes, Rin Tin Tin
10-9 Countdown
10-8 Tetris, Golden Dan
10-7 Bowling Hand, Mullet, Split
10-5 Woolworth, Five with a Dime, Five and Dime, Dime Store, Barbara Hutton
10-4 Over & Out, Roger That, CB Hand, The Trucker, Convoy, Broderick Crawford, The Good Buddy
10-3 Weinberg
10-2 Doyle Brunsen, Texas Dolly, Driver’s Ed
9-9-9 The Beast on his Head
9-9 German Virgin, Wayne Gretzky
9-9 (diamonds) Curse of Scotland
9-8 Oldsmobile
9-5 Dolly Parton, Hard Working Man, American Pie
9-3 The Sik, Jack Benny
9-2 Montana Banana, Twiggy
8-J Jeffery Dahmer
8-8 Snowmen, Infinity, Jesse James, Race Track, Dog Balls, Two Fat Ladies, Little Oldsmobile
8-7 RPM
8-6 Maxwell Smart, Poe Diddly, Hiroshima, Eubie
8-5 Finky Dink
8-4 Big Brother, Orwell
8-3 Sven, Raquel Welch, Most Feared Hand in Texas Hold ‘em
7-8-9 Cannibal
7-7 Sunset Strip, Walking Sticks, Hockey Sticks, Mullets
7-6 Union Oil, Trombones, Philadelphia (76ers)
7-6 (hearts) Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
7-5 (off-suited) Filipino Slick
7-4 (off-suited) Cambodian Slick, Double Down
7-2 (off-suited) Deadly Teddy Lee, Jamaican Air, The Hammer, Beer Hand, Whip (worst hand in poker)
7-2 (suited) Prom Night Teddy Lee
6-6-9-9 Dinner for Four, Orgy
6-6-6 Kotch, The Devil, The Beast, Lucifer, Satan, Evil Hand
6-9 Big Lick, Dinner for Two, Happy Meal, Jinxy, Joe Bernstein, Good Lover, Porno
6-9 (hearts) Prom Night
6-6 Route 66, Kicks
6-5 Retirement, Jagermeister
6-4 Omid
6-3 (off-suited) Jimmy Summerfield, Blocky
6-2 Ainsworth
5-5-5 Washington Monument
5-7 Heinz, Ketchup, Pickle Man
5-5 Presto, Speed Limit, Barge
5-4 Jesse James, Colt 45, Jane Russell, Peacemaker, Revolver
5-3 Bully Johnson
5-2 Dead Luca, Pick Up (from 52-card pick up)
4-4-4 Grand Jury
4-9 Joe Montana, San Francisco (49ers), Gold Rush
4-4 Magnum, Sailboat, Luke Skywalker (the fours is with you), Diana Dors, Midlife Crisis, Dirty Hairy
4-2 Bill Clinton
3-3-3-3 Forest, Four Trees
3-3 Crabs, Treys, Larry Bird
3-2 Mississippi Slick, Can of Corn, Aggie Slick, Polish Big Slick, Little Pete,
3-2 (suited) Hooter Hand
2-2-2 Huey, Dewey, and Louie
2-J Lindsay’s Lovers
2-9 Twiggy, Black Thursday
2-7 Harlem Globetrotters
2-7 (off-suited) Jim Morrison
2-4 Lumberman’s Hand, Solid Gold, Jack Bauer
2-3 Michael Jordan, Little Pete
2-2 Ducks, Pocket Swans, Deuces Never Loses, Quack Quack

